Popeye Never Told You by Rodney Hall

Author:Rodney Hall
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2016-07-13T04:00:00+00:00

but theres so many things i need to ask you,

hanging down from the gutter is the biggest icicle you ever saw because its thick like a tree trunk and all shiny and seems to come up from the yard so we go out and try hugging it but i cant reach the whole way round and my woollen gloves begin to stick,

and i love to visit Great-Uncle Monts tobacco shop in his little town, catching the bus out through the fields and over the hills because his shop is full of good smelling stuff that old men and young men buy or else soldiers but never ladies, and Great-Uncle Mont is puffing away on his pipe and his lips are wet and hes happy to see me and his pipe waggles,

‘let me see your hand’ he says,

i show him and he takes hold of it in his shaky old fingers and he turns it over to get a proper look,

‘good’ he says ‘what i look for in a boy is ink stains’

‘why?’ i ask,

‘because it shows me he can write’ says Great-Uncle Mont ‘and writing is the most important thing of all’

‘more important than football?’

‘what use is football’ he says ‘when theres a war?’

so now he gives me a cardboard box,

‘happy birthday’ he says,

and inside theres a printing set when i get the string untied,

‘so every time you want to print something’ he says ‘you fit these letters into the slots, here dyou see, on this wooden block?’

and its going to be easy because the letters are made of pink rubber,

‘but you have to make your words back-to-front so they come out the right way when you print them’

i look at it and try to understand,

but the telephone rings so Great-Uncle Mont goes over and he puts his hairy ear against it,

‘hullo?’ he says into the box on the wall ‘hullo?’

and he catches my eye,

‘alright’ he says to the telephone,

‘its for you’ he says to me,

but thats impossible,

‘how?’ i say,

‘come on, son, round here behind the counter’ he tells me,

and i dont know what to think,

‘hop up on the stool’ says Great-Uncle Mont ‘and take hold of this thing’

and its warm when i put it against my ear,

‘are you there, darling?’ says Mums voice,

‘yes’ i say,

‘no’ says Great-Uncle Mont ‘you have to talk into this part here’

‘yes’ i say again,

‘im ringing to see that you got off the bus alright’ Mum says,

and i can hear what she says though i cant hear me,

‘are you at the office?’ i say,

‘yes’

‘have you got a headache?’

‘its not too bad, thank you’ Mum says ‘now pass the telephone back to Uncle Mont’

and all of a sudden i feel grown up,

‘so now’ i say to Great-Uncle Mont ‘can i work the till?’

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